BillieLOG - A Billie Hawkins Life Story

Hey everyone!

Schedule first, blog second:

I’ll be coming into Milwaukee this week, and my anal retentive-ness is already building a schedule.

So far, this is what we are looking at:

Thurs 6PM: Arrival at Airport, Bill Gray picking me up

Thurs 7PM: Dinner/ Jazz in the Park

Thurs 8PM: Fluid for Cosmo night

Fri 830AM: Breakfast with Karee

Fri 10AM: Work until 6

Fri 6PM: Sherri pick up

Fri 630PM: Dinner at Mongolian (anyone wanna join us? )

Fri 830PM: Drinks at Fluid with Lisa, Sherri, Celebrate Don Johnson’s birthday

Sat 10AM: Brunch with Steve and Bill? (*)

Sat 12PM: Garden party at Sharkey’s? (*)

Sat 2PM: Family reunion with Hawkins’ side! (*)

Sat 6PM: Dinner with ? (*)

Sat 10PM: LaCage/Kruz

(*) = Will need a rental car for these events

Sun 10am: Brunch with Don Johnson

Sun 2PM: Fly back home

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Long time no blog, hey? Well, it’s just been a very busy month! Tony and I have been working a lot of hours at our jobs – he has been getting mandatory overtime a lot (Southwest was on a hiring hiatus, and since they are still training new people, they need everyone to pick up the slack.) and I have been doing a lot of 10 hour shift trying to research some work concerns.

As for the house, that’s taking up most of our time on the other end. We are quickly realizing that we can’t get everything we want anytime we want it; that’s a little frustrating when we look at our back yard that isn’t yet landscaped and our dining room that doesn’t have a table yet and the spare room with no night stand and the bonus room with no tv.. you get the picture. I know it will all happen in time, but it’s a little depressing to look at it and want to do things we just can’t afford all at once.

Oh, so the whole reason i am going to Milwaukee this week instead of the last weekend of the month is because of this family reunion. There is a bit of a back story on this, so bear with me.

I recently re-established contact with my brother Ron (on my father’s side) and his family. After several visits, it was discussed that every year his family does a ‘mass’ family reunion. They have a large number of summer birthdays, and so it just works out that they pick a day and a place to get as many people as possible together in order to celebrate. We thought it would be a great iea to try and get the sisters on my mom’s side of the family involved, maybe to re-establish a 25 year separation of the family.

Ron’s wife, Becki, worked with me to try and set up something that would work for everyone. We got dates set, locations, food, everything. It seems that there was always a conflict.

After trying to arrange multiple dates, locations and times to accommodate everyone, it was determined that some people just weren’t able/willing to be on board with the idea. As it stands, most of my mom’s side of the family seem to use every weekend in August for events before school and work start up again. Ironically, the ones who are the farthest away and the least available normally are able to make it.

That being said, I am flying back for this event, Michelle and Debbie are getting a ride in from Fon Du Lac, and the Hawkins/Weare side should all be there.

I do have to say that I was more than a little bit disappointed how this turned out. I mean, obviously there are valid reasons as to why people can’t show up; there is no denying that plans overlap, and there is no crying over that. I guess I am just disheartened that I sent out emails MONTHS beforehand; I asked for opinions on location and availability; nothing seemed to follow through. When I finally did directly ask people what I could do, I was presented with a laundry list of things they had already planned or reasons they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) come. It was then that I made the decision to just accept the answers they gave, and let anyone off the hook. There was no reason to argue that it was ONE saturday, and that ONE hour to make a round and say hi, maybe introduce your kids, whatever. It wasn’t worth it.

All in all, i can say that i really tried to create a moment where my family could come together and make a face to face reunion. optimistically, I would like to try this again sometime; realistically, I think that the families have just been in their own bubble for so long that they don’t want or need to connect any of it. Of course, as always, I get stuck being pulled in all the directions. And no, that’s not a guilt statement, it’s just a fact. I wish people could take a look at my family history from my point of view, just to see what transitions they took.

Let’s see:

There was birth to age 6: Mom and Dad, with a varied amount of Hawkins brothers and Brandt sisters living at the house, until Dad went to jail, splitting the household.

Age 6-8: Living with Mom and my aunt (Brandt), little contact with any siblings

Age 8-10: Moved several states away from all family except mom; attempted to bond with step-family (Yahnkee)

Age 11-12: Back to Wisconsin, living close to Debbie and trying to be a part of the Ford family (Ford)

Age 12-14: Living in FDL with Mom again, no family close by

Age 14-15: Living with sister Donna, trying to find a place back in the Brandt side, also working to fit into the Kissler family, as least in part.

Age 16- : Kind of giving up on family all together for a while, as I never really fit anywhere, did I?

Age 20+: After a couple years dating Donn and seeing the Moczynski family work, I realized it might be worth being a part of a family unit again. I began to make strides in that effort.

Because of that, I have tried to keep in regular contact with my siblings; i send cards and things to people on their birthday; I try to email and call regularly. I attempt to attend family events, even if it’s a five state journey and I have to rent a car and secure a flight and lodging…

The reunion was the next step in this effort. My father had created a rift in the family when he went to jail, splitting us all apart back in 1986; I wanted something to try and get the lines of communication open again.

So that’s been heavy on my mind. Short of that, you all are pretty much up to date.

BillieLog

Topics: House almost a month now Tony is on Training in Texas; I’m bored here alone; on call week; new iphone4

Sidenote:

(How homos are made)